GTA IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony

Date played: January 27th
Platform: PC
Session fun rating: 9/10

These are some of the best missions I've played in a GTA game. It all started with a girl, as it often does. Tony sent me to "make friends" with a rival club owner's girlfriend. After some mini-game induced dancing, she took me to the back room for a nice friendly blowjob. It all seemed great (if dirty as fuck) until the boyfriend barged in and beat her up. I had to shoot my way through the club...

Then Tony asked for my help to convince our blogger friend to stop talking shit about Tony's clubs. That meant giving him a friendly helicopter ride, throwing him off, then jumping after him to grab him and parachute him down to earth. Needless to say, he won't be talking shit again.

This is where Tony got his dick sucked...then shot anyone with a gun.

Then, the three GTA IV stories collided again when I helped Tony pick up with the diamond deal. This is where Johnny from Lost and Damned messd up the deal. I had to shoot my way out of the ambush with plastic explosives, one of the most satisfying weapons in the game. This all led to the famous museum scene. It turns out Luis is the guy who interrupted the deal and actually made off with the diamonds... It took him Yusuf's attack helicopter though, which happens to be painted gold now. I fled the scene and shot down three LCPD helicopters before I could deliver the diamonds to Tony.