Date played: July 4th
Platform: PC
I finished South Park: The Stick of Truth!
The ending was quite a bit longer than I expected though. We started by storming Clyde's castle of course. With the help of the girls, the pirates and other factions, the team broke the defenses of the fortress and fought their way to the top. There was a boss fight against one of the kids and it was pretty tough because he was immune to most status effects, had a shit ton of armor and hit hard.
When we reached the top, we met with Randy, who explained that the Taco Bell cover up was real. There is a nuclear device inside Slave's colon, and we must make the device abort it's launch sequence. Who could possibly have experience performing an abortion AND be able to shrink in size? Me, of course.
I shrunk down and climbed into Slave's anus. Inside him was a huge dungeon, filled with bats, bacteria, semen, a cell phone, many random objects and even a couple of armed soldiers. It was fucking disgusting and I had to look away from the screen a few times just to get a little break. On top of that, I was guided through the intestine and colon by a trio of ghosts, presumably of creatures who died inside Slave to satisfy his sexual appetite. Like, fuck. One of these guys was a boss, and he was super hard because he couldn't be burned, grossed out or bled out... We deactivated the device by performing a mechanical abortion, then climbed out of Slave through his throat.
After this disgusting journey, we confronted Clyde. He was not doing all these evil things on purpose really. He thought the green goo was actually green sauce from Taco Bell. Still, he didn't believe us when we explained, thinking it was just a trick to give up the Stick of Truth. He had one last trick up his sleeve, and that was to inject the rotting corpse of long deceased Chef with the Nazi Zombie virus.
Chef was a regular character during the first few seasons, but was retired as the series went on. He was a fan favorite, but because the actor had a beef with the creators, the character was killed off. In the game, he becomes a Nazi zombie. Aside from the usual Nazi screaming, his audio lines were taken from the original recordings, so that was pretty cool.
After the battle, the government bad guys showed up. The next few scenes were filled with story revelations and dialogue, all more ridiculous than the last. There's even an elaborate Skyrim joke in there that works much better than you would expect. My favorite moment was when Morgan Freeman showed up to explain a convoluted piece of the plot. Apparently, every time he does that, he earns a new freckle!
The final battle was a big surprise for me... Who would have thought that in the end, Princess Kenny had been plotting the theft of the Stick of Truth for a long time. She's so convincing that even the big bad government guy buys into the story and tries to steal the Stick of Truth for himself. He takes off his clothes, penis dangling, and attempts to control the universe. When it doesn't work, he begs Princess Kenny to help him... It was great!
Princess Kenny was by far the longest fight in the game. As any South Park fan knows, Kenny never really dies... so in battle, she was the same. At first, it was pretty easy, but when she realized that she wasn't going to win, she drank some of the Nazi zombie juice! I must have killed her 5 or 6 times, maybe more, before it was over.
In the end, the group saved the world from Nazi zombies and united the elves and the humans. The friends even make comments about what the next game should be. Cowboys and Indians? Egyptians and Pharaohs? It would be cool if the sequel had a completely different setting. At the very end, my character spoke for the first time in the entire game!
"Screw you guys, I'm going home!"
South Park: The Stick of Truth is a surprisingly wonderful game. It's got fun mechanics, it doesn't last too long or too short, it's got quality voice acting and best of all, it's funny and isn't afraid of making fun of anything. There's a place in the world for people like Trey Parker and Matt Stone. We need to be able to make obscene, racist, sexist jokes once in a while as a society, and it's idiots like this who keep the world a fun place. That doesn't mean it's going to be funny for everyone. In fact, I doubt there's a single person in the world who thinks all these jokes are funny.
Comedy doesn't have to be funny to everyone, but it has to be allowed to exist freely, even if that means offending some people.
Platform: PC
I finished South Park: The Stick of Truth!
The ending was quite a bit longer than I expected though. We started by storming Clyde's castle of course. With the help of the girls, the pirates and other factions, the team broke the defenses of the fortress and fought their way to the top. There was a boss fight against one of the kids and it was pretty tough because he was immune to most status effects, had a shit ton of armor and hit hard.
When we reached the top, we met with Randy, who explained that the Taco Bell cover up was real. There is a nuclear device inside Slave's colon, and we must make the device abort it's launch sequence. Who could possibly have experience performing an abortion AND be able to shrink in size? Me, of course.
I shrunk down and climbed into Slave's anus. Inside him was a huge dungeon, filled with bats, bacteria, semen, a cell phone, many random objects and even a couple of armed soldiers. It was fucking disgusting and I had to look away from the screen a few times just to get a little break. On top of that, I was guided through the intestine and colon by a trio of ghosts, presumably of creatures who died inside Slave to satisfy his sexual appetite. Like, fuck. One of these guys was a boss, and he was super hard because he couldn't be burned, grossed out or bled out... We deactivated the device by performing a mechanical abortion, then climbed out of Slave through his throat.
After this disgusting journey, we confronted Clyde. He was not doing all these evil things on purpose really. He thought the green goo was actually green sauce from Taco Bell. Still, he didn't believe us when we explained, thinking it was just a trick to give up the Stick of Truth. He had one last trick up his sleeve, and that was to inject the rotting corpse of long deceased Chef with the Nazi Zombie virus.
Chef was a regular character during the first few seasons, but was retired as the series went on. He was a fan favorite, but because the actor had a beef with the creators, the character was killed off. In the game, he becomes a Nazi zombie. Aside from the usual Nazi screaming, his audio lines were taken from the original recordings, so that was pretty cool.
After the battle, the government bad guys showed up. The next few scenes were filled with story revelations and dialogue, all more ridiculous than the last. There's even an elaborate Skyrim joke in there that works much better than you would expect. My favorite moment was when Morgan Freeman showed up to explain a convoluted piece of the plot. Apparently, every time he does that, he earns a new freckle!
The final battle was a big surprise for me... Who would have thought that in the end, Princess Kenny had been plotting the theft of the Stick of Truth for a long time. She's so convincing that even the big bad government guy buys into the story and tries to steal the Stick of Truth for himself. He takes off his clothes, penis dangling, and attempts to control the universe. When it doesn't work, he begs Princess Kenny to help him... It was great!
 |
| Princess Kenny had an amazing, Anime-inspired intro |
Princess Kenny was by far the longest fight in the game. As any South Park fan knows, Kenny never really dies... so in battle, she was the same. At first, it was pretty easy, but when she realized that she wasn't going to win, she drank some of the Nazi zombie juice! I must have killed her 5 or 6 times, maybe more, before it was over.
In the end, the group saved the world from Nazi zombies and united the elves and the humans. The friends even make comments about what the next game should be. Cowboys and Indians? Egyptians and Pharaohs? It would be cool if the sequel had a completely different setting. At the very end, my character spoke for the first time in the entire game!
"Screw you guys, I'm going home!"
South Park: The Stick of Truth is a surprisingly wonderful game. It's got fun mechanics, it doesn't last too long or too short, it's got quality voice acting and best of all, it's funny and isn't afraid of making fun of anything. There's a place in the world for people like Trey Parker and Matt Stone. We need to be able to make obscene, racist, sexist jokes once in a while as a society, and it's idiots like this who keep the world a fun place. That doesn't mean it's going to be funny for everyone. In fact, I doubt there's a single person in the world who thinks all these jokes are funny.
Comedy doesn't have to be funny to everyone, but it has to be allowed to exist freely, even if that means offending some people.
